Compo Status :: Round 89 Voting :: Ended 2015-01-29 00:00:00 *CST () :: 7 Votes

Abandoned by Shadowbane

Round 40
Author Shadowbane
Title Abandoned
MP3 Link http://www.loopproject.com/filebase/sdcompo/shadowbane/abandoned.ogg
Module Link sdc40_Shadowbane-abandoned2.psy.gz
Filesize 5594KB
Score 2, 2Total Points: 4 (2 Votes)
1st Place Vote5 Points2nd Place Vote4 Points3rd Place Vote3 Points4th Place Vote2 Points5th Place Vote1 point

Authors' Notes

In three movements And yes, I know the first one is really lame.

Personally recorded samples used: My Recorder, My computer fan, my voice, and some feedback from my mic, and some clapping/cheering from the freesound project site. (sorry if any of this is not legal for the compo, I think it all should be though...)

Hope you like it.

Comments

Comment by attwad on 2009-07-22 05:41:49

As you predicted had a pretty hard time with the first part BUT had a very good time with the "sea" part of the song :)

Comment by agargara on 2009-07-22 18:07:18

The major triad arpeggiations at the beginning sound quite corny, I think changing those in some way could make the first movement much better. By comparison, the second and third movements are much better. The floating recorder melody blended well with the atmosphere and had a good tone. The melody itself was nice enough but somewhat directionless, and perhaps too much locked into the key. I still like it very much, though.

Comment by ambtax1 on 2009-07-23 05:38:52

The flute part with the sea is really sweet. I am a huge fan of floaty flutes. Is that whirring your fan? Cool.
I think you could really make something special with a little more work.

Comment by Shadowbane on 2009-07-23 08:13:32

I think I am going to go back and redo the first part at some point.

And that isn't a flute, it is my $5 recorder from 5th grade. I knew it would come in useful some day.

My computer fan backs the waves to add more of a windy sound

Comment by ambtax1 on 2009-07-23 12:55:23

Sorry Shadowbane. I meant recorder. And you wrote it at the top!
:)

Comment by nt on 2009-07-24 12:14:40

I think one important thing that is missing, is a bassline. You seem to have a feeling for chord progressions already, backing them up with some bassline would make the song sound more complete.
I could listen to the waves forever. The song delivers a feeling of being on the coast and listening to a live band somewhere in Jamaica. Cool to drift away.

Comment by Marko on 2009-07-26 12:01:27

Oh, I thought you collected the friendly neighbours and then recordered the applause...

Comment by Shadowbane on 2009-07-26 13:26:12

marko, you just confused me

Comment by chunter on 2009-07-26 15:50:49

Marko means that he thought you used your family or friends to create the clapping and applause sounds. I think applause sounds are legal as they are vocals, in a way.

Comment by Airmann on 2009-07-26 16:50:18

Hey Shadowbane 1:17+ is really great (Flute part). This is the best what I've heard from you so far. Reminds me pretty much to Mike Oldfield Stuff. The Story telling in this is also great with the Circus/parade (?) intro, the Ship (? no it's the fan ! Awesome !!), birds the ocean and the auditory clapping. Really a good Idea. Improvements: Intro is too long. Just shorten the intro about the half and stop the song after cheering. This is a nice one ! Could easily be accepted as a relaxing movie background music. Keep it up man ! BTW: I don't think this one needs a bass or anything else. It's okay like it is. For me it's a little piece of Art with an pretty unusual making-of (e.g. Fan as Ship). When hearing this I see the sun, the ocean, people, buskers, cirkus, birds, smell fresh air, feel the wind. And wow, that's great. Like holidays.

Comment by FingerSoup on 2009-07-27 03:57:26

Comment by JustinCredible on 2009-07-27 06:26:13

The "sea part" is particular nice :-)

Comment by organic_io on 2009-07-28 09:50:38

Hey shadowbane! Glad to see you used my song title suggestion. :) The computer fan sample is really, really interesting. Gives the whole thing kind of an industrial/machinery feel. Agree with the others that the sea movement is very strong, also agree with nt that a bassline would really give this song an added depth. The recorder sounds really clear and well played, it's a good recording! (And also has nice effects-work on it)
Overall, this has a strong atmosphere which I think is what you were trying to accomplish. The song seems to lose some coherence near the end, I think you could have made it a minute or two longer and given it a bit more thematic consistency and a bit less of an abrupt ending (even just a slow volume fade on the computer fan after the last low recorder note). Also, the applause after the sea section sounds out of place to me ... For a song called abandoned, well, if I wrote it, I wouldn't have any samples of people. But that's just me :)

This is really sweet, definitely one of your stronger songs. Keep up the good progress, sir!
-Scott

Comment by cralias on 2009-07-29 18:59:21

Hehe, the first part is a hell of things. I don't know what it is, but we don't call things lame here :) Without something like that I could not fully appreciate other parts - it creates contrast.

I love the second and the third part. A wonderful melody (I'm getting biased here unavoidably). The crowd is a bit overreacting with those cheers, but they surely have a reason...

Nice use of all those things for seaside fx. Very creative way ;)

Recorder gets a little squeeky for a few very high pitched notes.

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